Gliding Like A Bag Of Spanners - Graeme Urwin

I noticed the other day that there was yet another 'celebrity' TV programme coming up. It seems to be the craze these days, even though I quite often have no idea who these people are. 

Help!

God bless Aunty Annie for her kindness, and god help me as my daughter Charlotte (aged 10) said the other day - 'Daddy, can we go ice skating?' 

Nevertheless I persevered, and over the weeks (it was summer then and therefore football was not affected too much) I reached the dizzy heights of being ok at it. 

I spent more time on my backside than not, but after an hour I could at least do one circuit of the rink. I think it was also the first time I took real notice of girls legs, and naturally I would then fall down again, blushing red as the group of girls giggled at my efforts. 

All I can remember then was that I windmilled my arms in an amazing variety of directions, with my legs acting totally independently. I reckon that first effort had me vaguely upright for about 5 seconds, and if Jeremy Beadle's programme had existed then I would have been up for an award. 

'How difficult can this be?' I said to myself, watching people of all ages effortlessly gliding around. So I pushed off from the side in what I thought approximated a graceful motion. 

Of course, being young and fit I bounced, but my 9 year old pride was hurt as usually what I tried I was good at. Gingerly I got up, and supported by Aunty, I slowly made it to the door into the rink. 

Down I went. 

The first time you stand up on a pair of skates is to say the least is interesting. There you are sitting on a bench mere yards from the door to the rink, and it may as well be a mile away. 

Well sort of. 

'Come over here to get your skates' said Aunty, and I was introduced to these ancient brown leather things which looked as if they were last worn by Moses. I struggled to work out how to tie the laces, but a few minutes later was ready to go. 

'Swish Swish'. 

She paid 2 Shillings and 6 pence (yes it was real money back then) and in we went. To a young lad seeing a large rink for the first time, it was very impressive. Of course there was the colder temperature as you approached, and the distinctive sound of dozens of skates whizzing around the ice. 

The ice rink was in Durham, right next to the river. I'm not even sure if it is still there. We arrived on a Saturday morning for my first go having got the bus the 6 or so miles. Looking back, I realise now that my Aunty, having no children of her own, really looked forward to 'treating' me. 

Picture the scene. My Aunty Annie said to me aged 8 or 9 - 'would you like to go ice skating Graeme?' I thought about it, and decided yes I would give it a go. You have to realise that I was football mad then, and every spare minute was spent kicking a ball around, and I was playing for 3 teams even at that tender age. So to even consider missing a couple of hours of footy was quite a decision to make. 

However, the words Ice Skating caught my eye, and I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but I was transported as if on Star Trek to a different era sometime in the late 1960s.